is a sixteen year-old teenager studying in Don Bosco Technical College as a fourth year high school student. He, being a student servant leader, has a high ambition of aiming for what's best and what is right. He knows that everything is moving - that he cannot please everybody, but keeps on trying his best to be on what he knows that's right, and for what he believes that's right.
He, being a fourth year high school student, started this blog as a journal for the book Iliad in English class. He wishes to continue, still, operating this site after the school year.
It has already been nine bloody years since the very start of the massive war between the fierce Achaeans and the aggressive Trojans. The Achaean army was able to defeat an allied-city of the Trojan fleet. With that, they were able to capture two lovely ladies, making them prizes for two of the greatest warriors of their troops. King Agamemnon chose Chryseis, as the respectable Achilles had Briseis. Unfortunately, Chryseis’ father, Chryses is the priest of god Apollo. He prayed to the god to help him get his daughter back. With Apollo’s outbreak on the Achaeans for ten days causing a great loss for them, they then withdrew Chryseis.
Several months passed after the incident happened. Everything is back to normal, with a happy relationship between Briseis and Achilles, except for King Agamemnon who still cannot move on and keeps on getting envious on Achilles who was able to keep his prize. With that, the king initiated a meeting with all of his people. “Great People of Greece, I thank you all for responding to this urgent call of mine.” Agememnon shouted. “It has already been months since the 10 days of nonstop massacre brought by god Apollo concluded. But I still cannot forget how I lost my beautiful prize. It hurts me every time I see the flashbacks circulating around my head. It was such a disgrace, like a great infamy that was showered upon me on one big blow. As we all know, Chryseis was my prize, and losing her caused me a great downfall.” He continues, “Now, I’ll get to my point, since it was I together with Achilles who got the women as our prizes on our last battle, I will be using my authority over you to take Briseis from Achilles. As your king, I think I have a greater right from any of you. With that, I should have Achilles’ prize as an exchange to my former one.”
Everyone was shocked. A second of silence passed until the murmurs within the discussion started. Achilles was sitting on the front row, beside his partner, Briseis. He couldn’t speak. His cousin, Patroclos was tapping his back for support. Tears flooded the eyes of the gorgeous Briseis. She looked onto Achilles deeply, very deeply. She does not know what to do, until her hands were grasped by two big warriors. She was crying as she left her love. As Agamemnon was cheering, Achilles and his colleagues were poignant.
“Stop this nonsense! This is crazy.” Achilles shouted as he walks towards Agamemnon. He then clutches him by his armor. “Who do you think you are? Are you not a real man? Are you not a real warrior? Are you not an Achaean warrior?”
“I do deserve this,” Agamemnon said, “and you have no right to talk and question your king like that!”
Surprisingly, Briseis was able to get hold of one of the warrior’s sword. Desperately, she stabbed herself. She was caught by Achilles as she falls.
“I’ll live in you forever. Don’t forget that.” She said slowly, “I’m always there,” pointing at Achilles’ heart. “Never stop living. I’m always here for you, you know that. I’ll always keep you safe on you future fights. I’ll be praying for you in heaven. It will still be a long time until we see each other face to face again but I am never leaving you.”
Achilles holds her firmly, embracing her until she catches her last breath. He shouted and cried without removing his tight arms around her.
For weeks, he was not able to fight; he was not able to be on his own. The Achaean fleet has been in danger on those times. They really need Achilles’ prowess in fighting. Until one day, Patroclos was able to convince his cousin to join the wars again. He reminded Achilles of what Briseis told him, that she will be with him always, and keep him safe on his future fights, that she will not leave him. This gave the energy back to Achilles in the battle. He was able to regain his former strength, by thinking of that Briseis is present.
This is my revised beginning of the Iliad. Instead of Achilles being stagnant on his tent, this alteration of the written story will be able to change the flow of happenings. It will be able to prevent unexpected events such as Patroclos’ death, or the continuous loss of the Achaeans in the battle.
A good beginning really creates a great ending. I hope that with this version of the start, the story of the epic novel will meet its expected improvements.
Surprisingly, Briseis was able to get hold of one of the warrior’s sword. Desperately, she stabbed herself. She was caught by Achilles as she falls. 
“I’ll live in you forever. Don’t forget that.” She said slowly, “I’m always there,” pointing at Achilles’ heart. “Never stop living. I’m always here for you, you know that. I’ll always keep you safe on you future fights. I’ll be praying for you in heaven. It will still be a long time until we see each other face to face again but I am never leaving you.” 
For weeks, he was not able to fight; he was not able to be on his own. The Achaean fleet has been in danger on those times. They really need Achilles’ prowess in fighting. Until one day, Patroclos was able to convince his cousin to join the wars again. He reminded Achilles of what Briseis told him, that she will be with him always, and keep him safe on his future fights, that she will not leave him. This gave the energy back to Achilles in the battle. He was able to regain his former strength, by thinking of that Briseis is present.
Score: 30
This is brilliant! Congratulations!
Miss Carmie